ANXIETY, FEAR, AND FRIED RICE – CHAPTER 2
I curse myself as I take the elevator down. Why did I wake up so late? If I had actually woken up to my alarm, I wouldn’t be here now – Mum would have bought lunch before she went out. Or if I had stocked up on instant noodles, I could just have had my usual slightly charred, overly salty noodles.
The elevator moves downwards shudderingly, and I’m gripped by the sudden fear that it’s going to stop. I feel unbearably warm, and as if in response, my sweat glands begin to cry.
Thankfully, it completes its descent. It emits a beep when it reaches the first floor, and I jump out quickly.
Immediately I catch sight of a teenage boy glancing in my direction. Is he looking at me? He appears nonchalant, and I quickly glance away to avoid eye contact, mind racing. Was that a trace of a smirk on his face? Was he laughing at me, for being so scared of an elevator?
I feel my body shrinking into itself, my shoulders curving inwards, taking refuge in my own body. I step away as fast as I can.
I walk through the street, trying to stand to the side and make myself as inconspicuous as possible. Although there’s just a scattering of people along the street, it still feels suffocating.
I focus on putting one foot in front of the other, trying not to think about people looking at me, trying to shrink into invisibility. I can feel eyes on me, and I quickly glance at myself. I’m wearing a proper shirt and pants, and slippers, appropriate for going out, right?
Still, I feel out of place, sticking out like a sore thumb. Sweat trickles down my back, and it’s not just Singapore’s weather. My heart beats faster, thumping through my chest, until I’m sure that the whole street can hear it, that this thump, thump, thump is reverberating through my body and creating vibrations that spread throughout the ground.
I wish that I could be swallowed up by a hole.
I try to take deep breaths, but they remain stubbornly shallow, fast. I try to think of calming thoughts, but all that comes to my mind is a string of calamic images, starting from me tripping to a car swerving onto the curb.
Then a name pops up into my mind.
Andrew.
“Why isn’t he replying?” I mumbled under my breath. Is he okay? What did he want to talk about? What animal is Mew?
As time passes, I hear a thrumming chatter and smell the aroma of a hundred and one different dishes. I glance up, looking at the welcome sign to the hawker centre hanging in front of me.
(CHAPTER 3 IS OUT!)
‘I made it!