FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS (FAQS)

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Here, you can find a list of frequently asked questions on mental health-related topics, ranging from self-care tips to general queries on mental illness.

Should you have any other related questions that you would like to have answered, feel free to drop them here or scroll down and leave a comment!

• Self Care

• Mental Illness

• Coping

• Relationships/Helping Friends

• Misc.

 

SELF CARE

 

Q: How much sleep should we get for good mental health?

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As 17-18 year-olds, your brain is still developing and growing. As such, you will tend to require more sleep than adults. The recommended guideline for teens is to achieve 9-10 hours of sleep. Insufficient sleep can have many negative impacts, including lower energy and concentration levels, which can reflect in poorer academic performance.

 

Q: How do I manage my time?

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Managing commitments and balancing your wellbeing can be tough! Here are some tips to ensure that you stay on track with your tasks:

1. Prioritise well

   • Evaluate your priorities based on (a) importance, and (b) urgency. If you are really pressed for time, less important and urgent things can be put off. If you need a break, don’t feel guilty for treating rest as important and urgent! It may be better for you in the long-run 🙂

2. Planning ahead

   • If you know there are certain periods in the year when you may be very busy, it might be a good idea to try to lighten the load in other areas. For example, before your CCA’s peak period, you can try to revise as much as possible so you don’t fall behind in academics! 

3. Create a schedule

   • A timetable can help to ensure that you have enough time to complete all that you have to. Some people require a bit more structure than others, so depending on your needs, try scheduling responsibilities by hour/day/week and see what works for you!

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MENTAL ILLNESS

 

Q: Are mental health issues within our control? What can I do to help myself?

Some people have a genetic predisposition towards mental illnesses in general, while some others may have traumatic

experiences that act as trigger events for mental illnesses. While we have no control over such factors, we can control our own thinking patterns and steer away from negative thinking (through the building up of positive thinking patterns), and there are many things we can do to increase our mental health and capacity to manage stress, such as exercise and leisure activities including hobbies.

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Q: Can you prevent depression?

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While some factors such as genetics are out of our control, we can do our part to reduce the odds of getting depression through various ways such as having regular exercise, creating good sleep habits, eating healthily, helping others, counting one’s blessings and more. All these activities help reinforce the individual’s mental health, and go a long way in reducing the odds of getting depression.

 

Q: Should we take self-diagnosed mental disorders seriously?

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If one feels they have any problems or mental health issues, the best thing to do is to seek a professional’s opinion. They would have the necessary skills and knowledge to diagnose any conditions or refer the individual to a specialist if necessary. Having the right diagnosis is vital to getting the best treatment for oneself.

 

Q: Why do some youths decide not to seek professional help in the face of mental health issues?

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There are many reasons: some of which could include a fear of the unknown, a fear of being seen as ‘weak’, or a fear of the stigma associated with mental illness / what others may think if they do seek medical help are some common factors.

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COPING

 

Q: What are some healthy ways to cope with disappointment?

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In addition to confiding in people close to you, you could choose to do activities to boost your mood such as reading stories, watching YouTube videos, or even reorganising your room. You could also choose to address your basic needs like eating healthy snacks, taking a calming bath, or taking a nap. You can also try indulging yourself in your hobbies: singing, dancing, playing video games or maybe learn something new! In short, you need to set aside some time for yourself, especially since you have just gone through a hard time. Try these activities and see which works best for you! You could even make them a habit so that when you do feel emotional burnout, due to disappointment or otherwise, you can bounce back faster with greater confidence in yourself.

 

Q: How do I cope with emotional burnout?

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You can try opening up to people you trust, like your friends, about how you’re feeling, so that they can support you. Articulating your thoughts aloud can also serve to help you clarify your own feelings! Other healthy ways to deal with emotional burnout are trying some basic mindfulness techniques, such as meditation, breathing exercises, or even just keeping a journal. These can help you to slow down and process your emotions and the events taking place in your life. Eating healthy and getting enough sleep are also some basic (but surprisingly effective) ways to feel better and become more emotionally stable.

 

Q: When you are already feeling low, how do you recover from disappointments when only self-defeating thoughts remain?

 

Firstly, it’s essential that we forgive ourselves. Making mistakes is inevitable, and they don’t define us. They don’t make us good or bad people, but learning and growing from them makes us better people. This can help us develop positive self-views and bounce back from current and future disappointments. Even if it may be hard, it is also important to remind ourselves of our commitments towards our goals. Such disappointments are only temporary obstacles in our path – only from such experiences can we learn more and move forward. We can adopt a mindset where our commitments guide our day-to-day actions, and start doing what we need to do even if we don’t feel like it. Lastly, imagining ourselves without any fear or doubt of future failures also allows ourselves to see what we are capable of, and over time, we actually won’t be worried, or insecure.

 

Q: Suppose that you have a goal you really want to achieve, which comes at the expense of a lot of mental and physical stress.

 

How can one decide the extent to which one should stretch themself?

Be self-aware of what your own limits are, and do not go over them. Seek the help of others who know you well to help you regulate yourself. If at any point in time you feel that your daily functioning is hindered, pause and re-assess. Practise self-care!

 

Q: How do we cope with bad results and move forward with life?

 

By knowing that whatever bad results you have received does not define who you are, and is simply a data point that indicates you need to do something different. It is not fixed and can be changed as long as you are willing to give it a try. Focus on the present instead of the past, on things that you can change instead of things that have already gone by.

 

Q: How can I cope with overwhelming stress from academics or having too many commitments?

 

On the practical side: Try to come up with a timetable for your daily activities and stick to that schedule as closely as possible. It may seem like you have an infinite amount of tasks to do, so prioritising and delegating them is very important. Focus on progress instead of perfection!

 

Remember to take care of your health. You won’t be able to work efficiently or effectively if you aren’t in good shape or even end up burning out. Don’t try to cram every inch of free time with work, but give yourself time to relax without guilt. Be kind and compassionate towards yourself!

 

Reach out to others for help, whether it’s to get things done or get the emotional support you need. And lastly, know that this period of intense stress and pressure won’t last forever. If you need to, drop something – this does not diminish your worth or capability. You are not alone in struggling, and remember that you deserve and should get the support you need from others. 

 

Q: How do I deal with lack of motivation?

 

Without motivation, it can be really easy to start procrastinating. Hence, it’s important to give yourself a driving force for what you need to do. Why is this lack of motivation so bad? What exactly is it you’re striving for? Are there any goals you are trying to achieve? Try visualising you achieving your goal. For example, if you’re trying to push yourself to study, imagine yourself regularly revising your work, being able to answer questions confidently during exams, and achieving the grade you want. After this, it helps to make a project more manageable by splitting it into smaller tasks – set revision schedules or to-do lists, so that every day you’ll know what needs to be done and (hopefully) be more determined to finish your work. Focus on progress instead of perfection, and affirm yourself after completing each task! 

 

Q: It’s so much easier to just give up. How can I build resilience?

 

Resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress. These adversities don’t determine the outcome of your life, but resilience also doesn’t mean that you won’t face such adversities. In order to build resilience, you can try a few strategies: self-care (like the tips mentioned above), being proactive in taking the steps you can take to help yourself, and embracing healthy thoughts. Accept that change is inevitable and you can’t go back in time to change the past, but you can change the future in different ways! You might not be able to change a stressful situation, like A Levels or PW, but you can change how you respond to it and how you come out on the other end of the line.

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RELATIONSHIPS/HELPING FRIENDS

 

Q: How do you help a friend who is in thinking traps but doesn’t seem to want/be able to get out of the trap? (e.g. unwillingness to look at the issue rationally)

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There is a time and place for helping your friend. At this point in time when he/she is stuck, attend to their feelings and be there when they are ready to move past this stage and work through the thinking traps logically.

 

Q: As a peer, how do we support someone if they are experiencing a panic attack?

 

Help them breathe slowly and diaphragmatically by modelling it for them. It might help if you get them to lie down and put a hand on their stomach to make sure it is going up and down. Play some relaxing music or use an application such as Breathe2Relax, which can guide you through this process.

 

Q: How can I help a friend who experiences suicidal thoughts?

 

Offer a listening ear and find out how concrete their suicide plan is. For instance, have they set a time, date, place or chosen a method to take their life? The more concrete the plan, the higher the risk. Try bringing your friend to seek professional help, and inform a trusted adult.

 

Q: I find it hard to be vulnerable with my friends when I’m feeling down; how can I open up to them more easily?

 

The first thing you could consider is thinking through why you feel a need to hide your emotional problems from your friends. Have you done so in the past? Do you feel that they won’t listen or empathise with you? Is it possible that you feel the need to project a more well-adjusted persona to your friends? These may not be reasons relevant to you, but they’re worth considering nonetheless.

 

Many people may feel like sharing their struggles with friends will be burdensome, or a mood dampener. However, sharing problems can often be a good thing for improving friendships, as you’ve shown that you trust your friends enough to talk about your problems with them.

 

If you really believe your friends are trustworthy, confiding in them can help you greatly in releasing pent-up emotions. One way to start a conversation about this would be to specifically ask them for a chat. For example, instead of just raising it in the course of normal conversation (which can be awkward), pull one or more of your friends aside and ask to talk privately about the issues you’re facing. Hopefully, they would accede to your request and take some time to hear you out.

 

Q: In what ways can you help a friend who is going through a tough time?

 

You can help your friend by providing them with a listening ear, and spending time with them doing things they enjoy. Invite them out for meals, or simply spend time hanging out together, and accompany them if they need to seek professional help, providing them support throughout the way.

 

Q: To what extent should we rely on others as a pillar of support?

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We should have a network of support, and not rely solely on one person. Just like how a building has many pillars, we should try to have different groups of social support, be it family, friends, religious groups, mentors etc. It is also important to practice self care, and seek to keep our own mental health in check, as some things are best in our control (e.g. reinforcing positive thinking habits, managing stress).

 

Q: How can I deal with toxic friends?

 

The first thing to do is to talk to them about their behaviour without being accusatory or judgemental. List some toxic behaviours they display, and tell them how it makes you feel, e.g. “When you brush off my problems, I feel insecure about myself, like I don’t matter”. Hopefully, they can recognise their problems and try to change for the better. However, if they don’t seem willing or able to modify their behaviour, it’s worth considering whether it might be better to break off the friendship.

 

Q: What if I have no friends? 

 

Having no friends may make you think ”I’ll be forever lonely”, but it is helpful to remember that this is a temporary situation. In such a case, it is important to understand why exactly you face this issue – do you subconsciously block friendships because of some past experiences, do you need to improve your friendship-making skills (remember, making friends is something that everyone learns!), or is it a matter of needing to expand your social circles (because you find it difficult to ‘click’ with those in your limited circles)? Based on this preliminary evaluation, you may want to consider talking to someone, practising your conversation and social skills in various settings, or even just try to sign up for activities that you’re interested in so you have the chance to meet people who share common interests with you. 

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MISCELLANEOUS

 

Q: Will peer helpers eat together with a student who has a risk of an eating disorder?

Upon request, and if both parties are comfortable, peer helper(s) can go and eat with the student to accompany them and provide support. It is important for the student who has a risk of an eating disorder to clearly specify what help he or she needs from the peer helper beforehand e.g. company, conversation, distraction, someone to eat at the same time with them or someone to monitor their food intake to ensure the student eats properly / healthily or eat too much.

 

Q: Why do we slip back into old, negative thinking patterns when we get stressed?

When we are under stress, our prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for much of our logical thinking processes, shuts down. As a result, we tend to return to familiar and instinctive patterns of thinking and behavior. The key to overcoming such issues is to develop and reinforce new, positive thinking patterns and new ways of behaving when one is not stressed.

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Q: How do you deal with the fear of making a decision you might regret?

Think through the decision rationally, weighing the pros and cons of each choice. Talk to people you trust and look up to, or others who have done the same things before, and avoid making decisions in the heat of emotions. Most importantly, once you have made a decision, don’t look back.

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Q: How do I find a sense of purpose?

Talk to people who are close to you about this. Read biographies to see how others have done it for themselves. Explore different opportunities; you never know what your sense of purpose is until you seek to try different things out. Volunteer and extend yourself to help others!

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Q; What if I have no commitments?

 

Don’t discount the various things you do in everyday life. As JC students, managing academics in school is already a very heavy duty, and even seemingly small things like household chores are actually also “commitments”. Don’t feel obliged to take on something unless you really are interested in it; you need rest too! However, if you want to do more, there are plenty of opportunities in and outside of school – just remember not to overcommit yourself! 

 

Q: I’ve only recently begun revision and my exams are coming soon. What should I do?

 

If you’re starting exam revision late, it’s likely that you’ll be feeling incredibly stressed and anxious. First, breathe and focus. Some amount of stress can improve your ability to concentrate, but excessive stress can be counterproductive. Carefully plan out the remaining days you have left, making sure you spend more time on your weaker subjects. If you’re behind, your friends will be an invaluable resource, so make sure you ask them for tips on how to efficiently revise and which areas to focus on. Most importantly, take good care of yourself – there’s no use burning out in the last stretch and being too stressed or on edge to perform during the exam itself. You can do it!